For some reason, I just haven't been in the blogging mood this past week. I'm hoping this post jolts me out of it.

I want to tell you about New York City. I traveled to NYC last week for work to attend a two day workshop. I traveled with four other girls. Shelly, Crystal, Krista and Denise. Here is my take on the city and my "adventure"......

It's BUSY!!! I still can't get over how many people there are in that city. Every where you go or look...it's people, people, PEOPLE! And lines...wait here, wait there....wait wait wait.

I came away with two different perspectives:

1) Dirty, Gross, Grimy, Busy, Pushy, Agitated, Rude, Crowded, Negative, and Exhausting.

2) Interesting, BIG, Exciting, Unique, Modern, Historic, Patriotic, Theatrical, and Exhausting!

I saw just about everything I needed or wanted to.

Here was my schedule:

Tuesday:

5:20PM(ish) Fly out from MPLS - flight was delayed approximately 1 hour.
9:30 - arrive at our hotel room at the Millennium Hotel.
9:45 - hail a taxi and head to Rockefeller Center
10:15 - take pictures while looking over Manhattan from atop of Rockefeller Center
10:45 - Stroll towards Time Square
12:00 - hail taxi back to hotel
12:45 - head hits pillow

Wednesday:

7:00AM - wake up
8:00 - breakfast - provided by the hotel/workshop
9:00 - 5:00 - class/lecture/lunch/workshop
5:30 - dinner - provided by hotel/workshop
8:00 - subway to Time Square to meet larger group we are associated with (8 other gals)
9:00-1:30AM - walk around, stop for EXPENSIVE cocktails, separate into smaller group of me, Shelly and Crystal, drink more expensive cocktails and laugh laugh laugh!
1:30AM! - get lost in BROOKLYN! Yes folks, Shelly, Crystal and Me were very scared and very lost! We went a few too many stops past ours while on the subway and ended up in Brooklyn. After a tense few moments, and apparently being stalked (Crystal was kind enough to withhold this info until the following day) we hailed a taxi and found our way back "home".
2:30-4:00 - too wired to sleep - Crystal and I stayed up talking until one of us must have drifted off to never never land.

Thursday:

7:30AM - wake with severe puffy eyes from lack of sleep
8:15 - breakfast
9:00 - workshop
10:00 - first pang of my headache (which lasted until 6:00PM!)
11:00 - done with workshop (YEAH!)
12:00 - Crystal and I walked for a while and stopped for some AWESOME pizza!
1:15 - visit World Trade Center Memorial visitor center - very glad I saw this.
2:30 - Crystal and I went shopping at Century 21 - a huge discount store....SCARY! I'm sorry, but Hudson and Seven Jeans for $40-$100 (much discounted!) aren't worth the craziness of that store! We had to escape!
3:45-5:00 - NAP!
5:00 - Walk to South Street Sea Port to board the Happy Hour Harbor Cruise we had booked prior to leaving Mpls.
6:30 (was suppose to start at 6!) board yacht. Begin drinking and snapping pictures of all the sites
8:00 - dinner - can't remember the name of the place we ate at. It was ok. I had Shrimp Scampi....mine is better! HA!
9:30 - walk back to hotel with a pit stop at a small grocer for late night snacks and non alcoholic beverages (ME LOVE PELIGRINO!)
10:30 - Lights Out!

Friday:

(here we go!)

7:00AM - wake up, pack bags, get ready to check out
8:15 - drop bags off with the bellman and head out for the craziest day of walking I've ever experienced.
8:45 - breakfast at a small (and VERY FAST PACED) diner in Wall Street.
The rest of my adventure has no exact time's as I have no IDEA what time it was.....
Walk around Wall Street
walk to Battery Park and look around
Subway to Grand Central Station
Walk to New York Library
Walk around New York Library
Walk along 5th Avenue towards Central Park
Stop at the Plaza in front of Rockefeller Center
Pit Stop at Dean and Deluca's
Continue walking along 5th Avenue to Central Park
Walk into Central Park, along the "Mall" to Bethesda Fountain and the Loeb Boat House
Walk OUT of Central Park
Subway to Chelsea
FIND Chelsea Market
Walk around and have lunch at Chelsea Market
Hail a taxi to Greenwich Village
Walk around Greenwich Village - see "Friends" House, Magnolia Bakery (as seen in Sex and the City - yummy cupcakes!)
Walk around some more....hail taxi to Soho
Taxi lets us out in Soho at Canal and Broadway
Walk along Canal Street shopping for cheap finds (if you've ever been to Mexico...that's what the shopping was like!)
Continue walking along Canal to come to Little Italy
Get Italian Ice (Lemon - Delish!) in Little Italy
Continue walking through Chinatown toward our hotel
at 5:15PM we arrived back at our hotel -on foot.

5:30PM - ride from HELL to JFK Airport.

Ok people...this driver was INSANE! We thought hiring a driver and Lincoln Town Car would be a nice way to travel back to the airport. WRONG. This guy was mental. We drove with the windows partially down (80+ degrees) without A/C - legs sticking to leather...fun. He nearly killed us on the Brooklyn Bridge by getting too close to another vehicle....I've never heard two people use the "F" word so much and so loud while driving....yes...our driver and the other driver were having an "exchange" while driving side by side. COME ON! Then...to make things worse, he drove us through the worst part of Brooklyn. I thought for sure we were about to become a Law and Order episode. I could see it plain as day....he would whip into some obscure garage, several scary men would come rushing at us dragging us out of the car, all the while screaming at us, while stealing our stuff, beating us senseless, and leaving us for dead. Yep...I was 85% sure that was going to happen. All I could think of was....what the Hell am I going to do?! No one knows where we are or who we're with. We hired this guy last minute at the hotel. I assumed he was a legit guy since the bellman at the hotel asked us if we wanted to hire the driver. NEVER ASSUME in that frickin city!

At any rate, we DID make it alive - no worse for the ware. We walked into the airport and heard angels singing....no line at the Sun Country counter. ah....finally....we walked up to the counter, happy to be that much closer to home, (this is where we realized the "angels" were actually travel demons laughing at us...)we walked up to the counted, only to find.....1 HOUR DELAY! Are you freakin kidding me?! Our plane was suppose to take off at 8:50 - landing in MPLS at 10:55PM

We sighed, pouted, and shut our mouths as we wheeled our luggage over to yet another line and waited while SUPER slow security people put luggage on a conveyor while annoyed travelers grumbled and waited.

After an eternity...we finally were able to go through security, which surprisingly enough, went a lot faster than I had expected.

We walked leisurely to our gate, and started scoping out our dinner options. We decided to make the best of it and agreed to a nice sit down meal with hopefully a glass (or two) of wine. After dinner, and with what we thought would be just a few minutes to spare , we headed for our gate. We got close enough to read the destination and I thought....hmmmm....we're not going to Amman! (Where is that anyhow?!) GATE CHANGE!!! Oh crap...did we miss our plane? NO! We can't be stuck here! NO NO NO!

We frantically marched to the large board to see the bad news. We were...pleased?... to find out we hadn't missed our flight. In fact...we had gained another HOUR delay!

Grumble Grumble Grumble..........yadda yadda yadda.......

We board the plane and actually sit on the runway for another 45 mins, finally take off at 11:20 and FOREVER later....my head hits my own pillow at 2:30AM! AH!

So, as you have probably surmised, I don't need to go back anytime soon...if ever. PERIOD.

The End. HA!

(BOG: code for barfing out guts. Katy created this term, I gave it a definition. We use it whenever something grosses us out.)

Never fails….

Today, someone in our office was kind enough to run to Jimmy Johns for lunch. I ordered my usual - #5 Vito light on the mayo and NO ONION!!!

So there I am, sitting at my desk, ready to enjoy my sandwich. I open ‘er up to load on the S&P when I see something suspicious. It was an ONION! GaRoss!

I tried to be a big girl and scrape them off, but once the sandwich is contaminated, there’s no going back. I suffered through 1/3 of the sammie before I chucked it into the garbage.

I may vomit.

I was just creating a file for a new client (for those of you who may not know what I do for a living….I am an assistant to a financial advisor) and while reading through the Pre-Planning questionnaire we had her complete, I came across the following:

Q: Of your current investments, do you feel any of them do not meet your needs?

A: Yes. The ones that are losing money

Q: What is the most important thing you want to accomplish from the financial planning process?

A: Not to become a bag lady

ROTFLMAO!!

I tell ya folks….this is a client after my own heart….I couldn’t have written better answers to those questions!

I love my job.

Never fails….every Friday (that I work – yeah for PTO!) Shelly and I find something to laugh at until our sides hurt.

Today it started with the following quote from Shelly:

(as she’s reading an email) “I need to learn how to make pipe bombs.”

My reaction…..laughing uncontrollably……”WHAT?!?!?”

History: We have a co-worker (not sure I want to claim that…) at my company who likes to write long and unnecessarily wordy emails about a subject he really has no clue about…we recently went through a program conversion…blah blah blah…..at any rate, we changed a program we use, and he seems to have multiple issues – THREE MONTHS AFTER THE CONVERSION WAS COMPLETE. He likes to write what I can only imagine is what he thinks are “clever emails”. It’s annoying….and he get’s on Shelly’s last nerve. Just seeing his name in her in box makes her crazy….oh, and he looks like an Amish dude.
So back to today’s “episode”…..
After I settled down from laughing at her comment I said –“hey, you should Google his name”
Ah GOOGLE….what would we do without you?
Here’s what she found:
Avid “festie” (his word – not mine – defined as: “think funny costumes and Minnesota Renaissance Festival”) -meaning he partakes in the Renaissance festival and his “festival name” is Sir Cumference! No Lie! That’s how he spells it!
And it get’s better folks….
He plays HANDBELLS…..for your amusement…and just incase you’re not sure what handbells are…please enjoy the video to the left…and as a bonus…the video itself is very entertaining. Keep watching for the “bonus” fruitcake that enters stage right – maybe it’s left – not sure, as I was not a “drama dork” in high school (sorry if you were! Hey, I was in yearbook, so I got enough “dork” labeling too!)
In the end, I had to literally pick myself up off the ground, wipe the tears from my face, and promptly sit down to bring this tidbit of humor to you.
ps...he's married......with a kid.....Yikes!!

This may or may not be the person I am speaking of